2002: Family Photograph taken at Genting Highlands
I thought that Destiny lies in our hands but in actual fact, destiny lies in God's hands.
We were separated for 2 years. He had a new girlfriend before Clara was born. I was so devastated and lost at that time when I gave birth to Clara. However, Clara's birth was the easiest and very natural. There was no need for vacuum suction and forceps. I tried to give breastmilk, but too stressful. So for Clara, she drank more of commercial milk that the maid helped to make.
During the 2 years of separation, later on I had two relationships. Christopher was very good to me. However, Richard learned about it. Then he desired to come back. Was that the result of my prayer? It must be. I never knew he would come back.
So when he came back, we went Genting Highlands for vacation. The above photograph was taken there. I thought that that was our family photograph...
I was brought up in Singapore, a typical Singaporean who is law abiding. We got registered on 7.1.1995 and we planned to have 2 children, one boy and one girl as what the government always shown in campaigns, 2 is enough. At that time, we had everything planned, 2 children to be born 2 years of age gap so that I could bring them together to school and bring them back after school. Last time the education system is such that there were 2 sessions -- morning and afternoon.
But I was wrong. Education system changed. Nothing is forever the same. Everything changes with time. Soon there was only one session of school. There were no more afternoon session.
Knowing Richard, going dating with him and going to vacation and so on, we encountered fortune tellers. Some we approached, some (or rather one or two) just came to us. In my memory what the fortune teller said was in my mind. But I just could not believe. I decide everything myself and I control everything myself. How is it possible that I can have 3 children? That was what the fortune teller told me -- "You will have 3 children." He added that Richard will have more children than me. He said that Richard would be rich while I had just enough money to spend. I will encounter help in my life. I just could not believe so much about this fortune teller after he said I will have 3 children. It seems too many for me...
Family Planning: I did not know that Catholic is not supposed to use condom, but that was what we used to do. At times Richard would use the natural method of counting the safe period. But I got pregnant in the year 2002! Who control our hormones now I think of that and who control our cycles? Clara was conceived naturally since we wanted two children, and even having 2 before the age of 30 so that we can be waived from income tax (the policy at that time).
The 2 children were still young and I was pregnant again! It was torturous to be pregnant. Being pregnant, I would have to lie down most of the time. I could not do much work. Thinking of that and my 2 other children need me, I did not know what to do. Then suddenly a thought came to my mind: "My sister also have abortion before! And look at her, nothing happened to her!" With this thought, my mind was make up.
Soon I put IUD (a kind of family planning) inside my womb, as suggested by the doctor. However some years later, it gave me problems and the gynae said it was rejecting from my body. So it was taken out. And from then on I am 'natural' again.
And so the years passed by until Jesus came...
