It's 13 years since Jesus came to me, and he said "Follow Me".
I was dead and was then given a new life till now. What does it means to follow him?
I was lost but found by Christ. I wanted to acknowledge that I am a Catholic, a christian and a follower of Christ.
In the past, an interviewer asked me, "Are you a Christian?" I told him, "No, I am not a Christian."
I even shifted all the Catholic statues out of the house, put them in the corridor cupboard and then brought them to my mother's house. I stopped praying to Jesus. I stopped going to church also.
But because of something which I had done many years back, I was saved.
What did I do? I thought that since my sister can do it, I will do it too. Can you guess what I did?
It's not a glamourous thing to do. It is my own flesh and blood. I killed it. But I did not know that I actually killed it. I was blinded. Doing things without knowing it. I was dead. Even at the clinic, I told them I wanted abortion, they did not stop me. They just let me sign papers. They were supposed to tell me the consequences of abortion, which until now I don't know. I asked the nurse, but she never told me the answers -- what effect does it have? She just told me some 'unrelated stuff' about her husband. "You know lah, man ....." things like that. And at that time, I happened to know the nurse. It was someone I knew at the workplace. She had changed her workplace.
So I never know that I had sinned, greatly sinned.
What's more, after that then I realized that my father had taught me that, "If you have a mortal sin, you cannot receive holy communion." Oh, how greatly I had sinned. Not only do I have mortal sins but also venial sins.
Before my husband came back, we committed adulteries too. He had new girlfriend and I had my boyfriend. So wretched, so badly sinned.
Then I wanted my children to raise up as good Catholics. I started to go church. Little did I know that I had done the wrong things. I never went for confession (reconciliation) and I just went forward to receive Holy Communion. It really never come to my mind what my father had taught me.
So the miraculous things happened on 8 March 2008. I had a dream of Jesus, telling me about 'Singapore'. I woke up and I heard him saying, "Follow Me". I was so broken. I cried for all my sins. Next, I walked to the window and I saw the 'map of Singapore' in the clouds. And Jesus was saying I am the bread of life. Back then I have no idea at all Jesus was the bread of life! I learned from my dreams! During my bath, I was 'cleansed' and washed again with new spirit... Jesus helped me to wash away all the evil spirits.
Now, Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:23)
If I want to follow him I have to take up my cross. I am still learning now how to take up my cross.
No comments:
Post a Comment