Photograph taken at Church of St Mary of the Angels (5th Sunday of Easter)
Today is 100 days since father died. We had prayer session for him on the 1 May 2021 at his niche and another mass dedication (mass for the soul) to him on 2 May 2021.
On 29 April 2021, which was last Thursday, I dreamt of my father. It was the first time I dreamed of him ever since his death. The cross with the white and yellow drape reminds me of the dream. My father was dressed in white shirt, sitting down with some other people in the dream. First time I dreamed of him dressing in white. He had talked to me in my dream, an advice, but I cannot remember what it was now. In the dream, I said I would remember it, but when I woke up, I had forgotten everything.
Photograph of my father when he was younger.
My father loved to eat and one night he came to my brother's dream saying that he wanted to eat chicken drumstick without rice. My brother went to buy Toto and he won money after that. I dreamed of him, went to buy 4D, but never win anything.
It's 13 years since Jesus came to me, and he said "Follow Me".
I was dead and was then given a new life till now. What does it means to follow him?
I was lost but found by Christ. I wanted to acknowledge that I am a Catholic, a christian and a follower of Christ.
In the past, an interviewer asked me, "Are you a Christian?" I told him, "No, I am not a Christian."
I even shifted all the Catholic statues out of the house, put them in the corridor cupboard and then brought them to my mother's house. I stopped praying to Jesus. I stopped going to church also.
But because of something which I had done many years back, I was saved.
What did I do? I thought that since my sister can do it, I will do it too. Can you guess what I did?
It's not a glamourous thing to do. It is my own flesh and blood. I killed it. But I did not know that I actually killed it. I was blinded. Doing things without knowing it. I was dead. Even at the clinic, I told them I wanted abortion, they did not stop me. They just let me sign papers. They were supposed to tell me the consequences of abortion, which until now I don't know. I asked the nurse, but she never told me the answers -- what effect does it have? She just told me some 'unrelated stuff' about her husband. "You know lah, man ....." things like that. And at that time, I happened to know the nurse. It was someone I knew at the workplace. She had changed her workplace.
So I never know that I had sinned, greatly sinned.
What's more, after that then I realized that my father had taught me that, "If you have a mortal sin, you cannot receive holy communion." Oh, how greatly I had sinned. Not only do I have mortal sins but also venial sins.
Before my husband came back, we committed adulteries too. He had new girlfriend and I had my boyfriend. So wretched, so badly sinned.
Then I wanted my children to raise up as good Catholics. I started to go church. Little did I know that I had done the wrong things. I never went for confession (reconciliation) and I just went forward to receive Holy Communion. It really never come to my mind what my father had taught me.
So the miraculous things happened on 8 March 2008. I had a dream of Jesus, telling me about 'Singapore'. I woke up and I heard him saying, "Follow Me". I was so broken. I cried for all my sins. Next, I walked to the window and I saw the 'map of Singapore' in the clouds. And Jesus was saying I am the bread of life. Back then I have no idea at all Jesus was the bread of life! I learned from my dreams! During my bath, I was 'cleansed' and washed again with new spirit... Jesus helped me to wash away all the evil spirits.
Now, Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:23)
If I want to follow him I have to take up my cross. I am still learning now how to take up my cross.
Photographs showing the map of Singapore. Picture taken from my window.
