Evacuation of Uterus

 

Consent for Operation

The gynae asked me to sign the paper after I told him that I want to abort my baby.  At that time, the foetus was just 6 weeks old.  I signed the paper and was asked to pass the paper to the nurse.  It was mention that the nature and effect of the surgery was explained to me.  In actual fact, nothing was explained to me.  No explanation from the gynae.  No explanation from the nurse.  So I asked the nurse, what is the effects of the surgery, she did not tell me.  

In my mind was to  just abort the baby.  So I did not ask more already.  

I killed my baby on 8 October 2002

I don't know what effects the abortion will have on my body.  I don't know how it will affect me spiritually too.  I just knew that my sister had abortion before and she was fine.  So I should be fine too.  I thought that abortion is okay.  It did not occur to me that I was killing my baby at that time.  

I learned from my sister that in SGH, if you want to abort the baby, they will try to stop you from doing it.  They let you watch a video on how life is formed.  Over here at the clinic, nothing was done to stop me at all.  I think it was all fated anyway.  

After the abortion, the doctor helped me to insert IUD into my womb.  It is a birth control method recommended by the doctor.  For a few years, it was inside my uterus until 18 November 2004 whereby my IUD was removed.  The gynae said my body was rejecting the IUD.  So after that I had no birth control methods.  

In the year 2006, we slowly went back to the church, because my children started primary schools and I wanted them to start catechism class.  Going to church, I had totally forgotten that I had committed mortal sins and could not receive Holy Communion.  I received Jesus still... and in the end, I was felt broken.  Slowly I was on my way to conversion in the year 2007, and in the year 2008, I encountered God who told me about the existence of purgatory.   I went to church for confession and had my sins absolved and back home, I had the most wonderful bath of all -- I was reborn again in water and spirit...

I was pregnant again in 2008

After God and Jesus came, how can I repeat my same mistake?  I kept my baby at all cost in the year 2008, giving birth to a healthy baby in the year 2009.  

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Be Baptized

 

Isaac's baptism on 2 August 2009

Today is Good Friday, a day where Jesus died for our sins.  Jesus, the Son of God had come into our world.  No other religion had this before, the coming of God as the Son in flesh.  The laws of Moses had required the killing of the best lambs as sacrifices to 'remove sin'.  They pictured the giving up of an innocent life so that sinners could be forgiven.  Jesus fulfills that.  He is the pure, sinless 'Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world' (John 1:29).  He was sacrificed by being nailed to a 'tree', a wooden cross.  There, all the sins of every person went into His body.  There, He paid the full punishment for all sins, so that we could be set free from sin's guilt and pain.  Isaiah, seven hundred years earlier, foresaw this suffering for the 'iniquities' and 'transgressions' (sins) of mankind.

He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.  We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us had turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:5-6)

Peter, who saw Jesus die, reported the fulfillment of Isaiah's prophecy.  

He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed (1 Peter 2:24)

He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy... (Titus 3:5)

In baptism one is buried with Christ and also raised with Christs.  Christ's death saves us.  The divine blood, which Jesus poured out at His death, cleanses us.  We meet that saving blood when we are baptized into His death.  

And now what are you waiting for?  Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on His name.  (Acts 22:16)

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to all creation.  Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned." (Mark 16:15-16)

Isaac's baptism ceremony: the priest pour water on his forehead and I take a towel to wipe off the water.  

In our baptism ceremony, there is a need to appoint a Godfather.  He need to be present for the baptism ceremony.  I asked my brother to be Isaac's Godfather.  

If you want to be saved, believe in Jesus and be baptized.  

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Evangelize a not

 

             Photograph showing the white cross on the cardboard box that Dora had loved.  

To write or not to write.  To hide or not to hide.  Finally I had decided to publicize my blog again after so many months of stopping and 'hiding'.  

I cannot earn much from online.  So I found a job in the childcare industry.  I quit my full-time job after some years working with them.  Now I am back to write again.  Why?  I find that I must 'tell' and 'share' if I had discovered the truth.  I had witnessed IT and I had to share to tell the truth, the truth about Jesus, the presence and existence of God, the blessed trinity.  

I saw on Tik Tok, a man asking or wondering to abort their baby.  He talked until so easy, asking girlfriend to abort the child.  As I had experienced before, I would not advise women to abort their baby anymore!  It's a life lost.  

A life is so precious.  Take my cat for example.  Dora was just gone in an instant on that night of Chinese New Year Eve.  She was our precious cat, giving us joy and companionship all the time of her life.  But just for a moment she was around, but for the next moment she was gone...

Not everybody knows the values of a life.  So I feel that since I had experienced it, I should do something to reveal the truth.  If Jesus shown his love for me and had forgiven my sins, then I should bare all the embarrassment and pluck my courage to reveal the truth.   

The Parable of the Lost Sheep:  … What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices more over that one sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.… ~Matthew:18:12-13

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Proclaim Good News

We Are Sent Into The World 

 I have not update my blog since July 2021. It was 7 months since I last update it. 

Life had been smooth sailing until now, the tragic death of Dora...

Cebest died at the age of 3.  Dora died at the age of 3 too.  Besides this similarities, both seemed to be planned...  Cebest saw the death angel came and Dora's death angel was like being sent.  Her death happened at a 'good' timing...

 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” ~Matthew 26:34 

 Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” ~ John 2:19

 Cebest died on 7.6.2006.  I was 'converted' in the year of 2007, the belief of spirits, the spirit returned, and I went back to church, our catholic church.  There, I 'met' Jesus again at the Church of Saint Anthony of Padua in the year 2008.   My sins were forgiven.  I had a new life then.  Isaac was born.

Last year, my father died.  This year, we celebrated his first year anniversary on 25.1.2022.  Then on 31.1.2022, dora died.  Unlike me, I was given a second chance to live.  I was dead but resurrected on 8.3.2008.  I was converted on 31.12.2007.  With all the explanation at night told to Richard and the children as regards to the noise that I heard at night.  

So similarly, I believe that my father would be resurrected after death.  So did Cebest and Dora.  And definitely my unborn baby.  These are not learned in our school.  I had to experience it first hand to believe.  And today I believe that my faith would guide me through the remaining days of my life so that I would eventually meet my dearly departed loved ones again...

  

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Holy Communion

 

Family photograph taken before the year 1988

Every time when I mention about Holy Communion, I would remember my paternal grandmother.  She is sitting with my grandfather in the photograph above.  What is Holy Communion?

Photograph of me receiving Jesus the first time, My First Holy Communion

Even though I was taught about this Holy Communion in Catechism:

On the night He was betrayed, Jesus took bread and gave it to His disciples, and said, "Take this, all of you, and eat it: This is My Body which will be given up for you."

When supper was ended, He took the cup.  Again He gave thanks and praise, gave the cup to His disciples, and said, "Take this, all of you, and drink from it: this is the cup of My Blood, the Blood of the new and everlasting covenant.  It will be shed for you and for all so that sins may be forgiven.  Do this in memory of Me."

I was not aware that I was receiving Jesus at that time.  It was just bread I received in my mouth then.  It got soften with saliva and I just swallowed it.  After that, I went to the pew to pray.  So every time we go church, this is the main thing that we do, the reason why we go church.  

Our Lord changed bread and wine into His Body and Blood and offered Himself to God.  This was a sacrifice.  This was His Body to be offered on the Cross.  This was His Blood to be shed for the forgiveness of sins.  He told the Apostles that He would die on the next day.  That would be the bloody sacrifice on the Cross.  

But Jesus wanted this unbloody sacrifice to continue on earth till the end of time.  When He told the Apostles to do as He had done, He made them priests and gave them power to offer this sacrifice.  

So when I was young, I often saw my grandmother asking the priest to give her Holy Communion, whether it was mass time or outside mass timing.  She always liked to come to our house, wearing slippers and she would always washed her feet in our toilet.  The next thing that she like would be washing her hands too.  

I was told that my grandmother passed away peacefully 'in her sleep' in the year 1988.  Look at the family photograph above.  The years have passed.  Four people were not here anymore.  They were my grandparents, my father and my third maternal uncle. And I was 'dead' and was 'raised' again...

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Pass It On

Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)

Miracle

 Jesus always taught people using parables and He is a great teacher because He is able to cure the sick, the blind and even bring the dead back to life.  

Jesus had always perform miracles.  I had never experienced miracles before.  However, I had experienced miracle on the day where Jesus came to save me.  He came to 'wash my feet' -- I had the most wonderful shower on that day, perfectly cleanse.  I felt so good and so refreshed.  

Jesus did miracles for two reasons -- to show His love for people and to prove that He is God and has all power to heal and to give eternal life to those who believe in Him.

If Jesus had not come, I would probably end up in Hell and purgatory.  I was the lamb that he saved.  I was a sinner and yet He came to save me.  I was the lost sheep and He came to rescued me.   

Matthew 18:12-14 and Luke 15:3-7:  The Little Lost Lamb

Jesus once told a story about a little lamb that lived in a pasture with 99 other sheep.  The shepherd took very good care of his sheep.  He fed them, gave them water, and chased away wild animals.  But one day, the shepherd noticed his lamb was missing.  Right away, he left the other 99 and went looking.  When he found the lamb he was very happy.  

Looking at the picture of Jesus carrying the lost lamb (before Jesus came), I always wondered how it felt like.  So I always tried carrying Cebest to have a feel of it.  

Back to the miracle.  And I still remember the day when Richard and I went to Marsiling to eat Bak Kut Teh (his favourite), I just drink the soup.  On that day, the soup was never dry!  I kept drinking the soup and the water level was always the same!  Isn't it a miracle as well?  I can still remember also that on the way to the Bak Kut Teh, we cycled there by the way, and there was a green slim snake dropped just in front of him.  I was a little behind him, so I saw everything.  He was so scared.  

Matthew 14:16-21, Mark 6:35-44, Luke 9:12-17, John 6:5-14 Jesus Feed the 5000 men and their families.

I really never believe in miracles, but after this incident, there really is such things called miracles.  

The golem, showing Victory over sins

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)

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Follow Me

 It's 13 years since Jesus came to me, and he said "Follow Me". 

I was dead and was then given a new life till now.  What does it means to follow him?  

I was lost but found by Christ.  I wanted to acknowledge that I am a Catholic, a christian and a follower of Christ.  

In the past, an interviewer asked me, "Are you a Christian?"  I told him, "No, I am not a Christian." 

I even shifted all the Catholic statues out of the house, put them in the corridor cupboard and then brought them to my mother's house.  I stopped praying to Jesus.  I stopped going to church also.  

But because of something which I had done many years back, I was saved.

What did I do?  I thought that since my sister can do it, I will do it too.  Can you guess what I did?

It's not a glamourous thing to do.  It is my own flesh and blood.  I killed it.  But I did not know that I actually killed it.  I was blinded.  Doing things without knowing it.  I was dead.  Even at the clinic, I told them I wanted abortion, they did not stop me.  They just let me sign papers.  They were supposed to tell me the consequences of abortion, which until now I don't know.  I asked the nurse, but she never told me the answers -- what effect does it have?  She just told me some 'unrelated stuff' about her husband.  "You know lah, man ....." things like that.  And at that time, I happened to know the nurse.  It was someone I knew at the workplace.  She had changed her workplace.  

So I never know that I had sinned, greatly sinned.  

What's more, after that then I realized that my father had taught me that, "If you have a mortal sin, you cannot receive holy communion."  Oh, how greatly I had sinned.  Not only do I have mortal sins but also venial sins.  

Before my husband came back, we committed adulteries too.  He had new girlfriend and I had my boyfriend.  So wretched, so badly sinned.  

Then I wanted my children to raise up as good Catholics.  I started to go church.  Little did I know that I had done the wrong things.  I never went for confession (reconciliation) and I just went forward to receive Holy Communion.  It really never come to my mind what my father had taught me.  

So the miraculous things happened on 8 March 2008.  I had a dream of Jesus, telling me about 'Singapore'.  I woke up and I heard him saying, "Follow Me".  I was so broken.  I cried for all my sins.  Next, I walked to the window and I saw the 'map of Singapore' in the clouds.  And Jesus was saying I am the bread of life.  Back then I have no idea at all Jesus was the bread of life!  I learned from my dreams!  During my bath, I was 'cleansed' and washed again with new spirit...  Jesus helped me to wash away all the evil spirits.  

Now, Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:23)  

If I want to follow him I have to take up my cross.  I am still learning now how to take up my cross.  

Photographs showing the map of Singapore.  Picture taken from my window.

  A closer view of the map of Singapore.  

 

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