Evacuation of Uterus

 

Consent for Operation

The gynae asked me to sign the paper after I told him that I want to abort my baby.  At that time, the foetus was just 6 weeks old.  I signed the paper and was asked to pass the paper to the nurse.  It was mention that the nature and effect of the surgery was explained to me.  In actual fact, nothing was explained to me.  No explanation from the gynae.  No explanation from the nurse.  So I asked the nurse, what is the effects of the surgery, she did not tell me.  

In my mind was to  just abort the baby.  So I did not ask more already.  

I killed my baby on 8 October 2002

I don't know what effects the abortion will have on my body.  I don't know how it will affect me spiritually too.  I just knew that my sister had abortion before and she was fine.  So I should be fine too.  I thought that abortion is okay.  It did not occur to me that I was killing my baby at that time.  

I learned from my sister that in SGH, if you want to abort the baby, they will try to stop you from doing it.  They let you watch a video on how life is formed.  Over here at the clinic, nothing was done to stop me at all.  I think it was all fated anyway.  

After the abortion, the doctor helped me to insert IUD into my womb.  It is a birth control method recommended by the doctor.  For a few years, it was inside my uterus until 18 November 2004 whereby my IUD was removed.  The gynae said my body was rejecting the IUD.  So after that I had no birth control methods.  

In the year 2006, we slowly went back to the church, because my children started primary schools and I wanted them to start catechism class.  Going to church, I had totally forgotten that I had committed mortal sins and could not receive Holy Communion.  I received Jesus still... and in the end, I was felt broken.  Slowly I was on my way to conversion in the year 2007, and in the year 2008, I encountered God who told me about the existence of purgatory.   I went to church for confession and had my sins absolved and back home, I had the most wonderful bath of all -- I was reborn again in water and spirit...

I was pregnant again in 2008

After God and Jesus came, how can I repeat my same mistake?  I kept my baby at all cost in the year 2008, giving birth to a healthy baby in the year 2009.  

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2 is enough

 

Singapore's 2 is enough policy in the early years

Singaporeans are mostly law abiding and tends to 'listen' to the government.  Otherwise there would be fines.  So whatever they said people would tend to abide by them.  How many women in my family follow this policy?  My sister has 2 children, my sister-in-law also has two children.  I used to think of only having 2 children too.  However, I was wrong.

Photograph of my new family portrait

At the age of 38 I gave birth to another tiny human being.  I had to carry my cross and bare all hardship to juggle my pregnancy with caring for the home and children.  How precious is a life?  

I had Isaac in my womb for nine months.  I did not know how much it means to me until I was almost losing it at the time of birth.  

There was bleeding and I quickly went to the hospital with Richard.  At the hospital, I was asked to lay in the bed to rest.  

Photograph of me at Mount Alvernia Hospital 2009

I stayed there for almost one two days and one night then I was pushed to the delivery ward.  Over there, I still need to wait for the uterus to open up.  It was early in the morning when I still need to wait for the doctor to arrive.  By the time I had epidural and the doctor came it was quite some time.  Finally the baby came out from my womb.  

Isaac cried and the nurse carried him to show me.  However later on, the doctor and nurse seemed to be doing something which I did not know.  Later on I was informed by the doctor that the baby was in critical state.  He was in the womb for too long, and he had eaten his own feaces.  The baby was a bit blue.  The doctor said the baby need to be pushed to the critical care unit.  

At that moment, I was so scared of losing him.  I did not want to carry him for nine months and lost him in the end.  We prayed.  I called home to the children and told them about it.  I asked them to help to pray too.  Luckily, soon Isaac was fine ultimately.  We thanked God that he was well at that moment.  

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People

Photograph of me taken on 1.5.2009 (at Church of St Anthony of Padua), the 9th month I was pregnant...

It is said that the natural resources of Singapore is nothing but People, a human being.

What is a human being?  We asked about how the chicken comes about?  Is it from egg first or from chicken first?  We have many questions about life as well.  However we could not answer them.  Did you really think about our meaning of life at all?  What is the purpose of living in this world even?

I questioned it.  It was my paternal grandmother's death that I had experienced a life lost.  So that was the ultimate destiny of a person!  Singapore, our common destiny, our shared destiny, death.  

But how does people come about?  Though I studied and read on books about the process of pregnancy, I was blinded to think that I can abort the 'heart' (the six weeks old foetus).  That was a precious human being, from the day it was conceived!  How precious it was for people who do not even have a chance to have a baby.  Some people tried so hard for babies and yet they had none.  Yet, I was blinded.  It never dawn on me that I was actually killing a precious life like that!

 

The human life starts from the fertilization of the egg with the sperm.  It slowly develops into more cell division and ultimately the heart is formed and subsequently everything develops slowly in the mother's womb.  The 'making of a human being' takes nine precious months.  So the human lives should be treasured.  

 

Photograph of Isaac and me taken on 1.8.2009

I bared the hardship of pregnancy and successfully gave birth to Isaac.  That is how a life comes about from a tiny egg that met the sperm grow in the womb, and eventually into a full term baby.  Another hardship was the labour pain and eventually all the pushing hard to have the baby come to the world.  So that was the 'making of a people'.

I too was born from my mother's womb.  I grew up, brought up in my mother's house and my parents' are also brought up locally, all within Singapore.  Singapore is a small country and do you really know what is the right way to live our life?  

John 14:6 --  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

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A New Life

 It was a great day.  The weather was very good.  After sending the children for catechism class, Richard and I cycled to Waterfront.  There we saw so many monkeys.  People were feeding them food -- watermelon, orange, and so on.  I spotted this mother monkey carrying her baby. 

7.9.2008: Somewhere around Waterfront a monkey carrying her baby was spotted.
 

 

7.9.2008 : Picture of a special blue bird that I sighted as I was cycling on the way to Sembawang Park.

After Waterfront, we cycled to Sembawang Park.  On the way, I spotted this bird which was flying, and when I noticed it, it just stopped for me to take photograph of it!  How amazing!  And this was the first time I spotted this kind of blue bird.  

We continued to cycle and soon we reach Sembawang Park.  We were both sweating.  This was the place we had our wedding photo shoot. 

7.9.2008 : Picture of a Richard and I standing at the spot where we had our wedding photograph. 

Little do I know that I was pregnant by then.  It was only later that I had missed my menstruation and had the 'symptoms' of pregnancy that I knew I was pregnant in the later weeks.  My birthday was the next day.  Richard told me that that was a birthday present for me.  

30.9.2008 Photograph of ultrasound scan showing the baby's heartbeat

I have a new life ever since Jesus came.  Everyday was a different day.  Little did I know that this new life that I have will result in another new life...

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