Trials and Tribulations

 

The Throne of God taken on 26 August 2008

I want to thank God for showing to me that He exists and for telling me that there are Purgatory.  One night, I dreamt of National University of Singapore.  I was walking in the linked shelter --the yellow shelter.  I was walking and walking and then later on I saw the scriptures with the word "God's Will" zooming in and then I woke up to see the image of the Singapore Map (the formation of the Clouds) outside my window.  

Map of Singapore on 26 August 2008 A Living Sacrifice 

Sacrifice of Body and Mind: Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 2009, I was lying on the bed of Mount Alvernia Hospital

Babies are gifts of life from God.  Due to my ignorance and blindness and family circumstances, I aborted my baby after Richard's return.  Some couples wanted babies and they couldn't even have any.  Here I am, God gave me a new life and I killed it.  Now God came to me, telling me it was all wrong.  I have to sacrifice.  I was given again a new life and this time I learned my lessons, and no matter how hard it may be, I had to keep the baby.  The doctor asked me to do test to check if baby was normal.  I did not check for any test.  It was my faith to trust God, to give me a perfect child despite my old age at that year.  So indeed, I gave birth to a perfect child.  

Now Richard had left again, and this time he is remarried to another woman.  God showed His existence and Jesus asked me to Follow Him.  Here I am, living in faith and hope that everything will go on well for my children and family.  I will put my trust in God for He works in a miraculous way and He can work wonders.  

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Teacher

 

Photograph of the primary school students and me at my old home

During the holidays, I was offered relief teaching at the primary school near my home at that time.  It was Boon Lay Garden Primary School.  I was offered to teach the students for a term.  At the end of the term, they wanted to come to my house and we spent some time at home.  It was fun time to be with the children.  

When the holidays ended, I began my studies at National University of Singapore.  I was a part time tutor at night.  Children called me 'teacher'.  After graduation from NUS, I worked at a tuition centre for a few months.  I was happy teaching and love being a teacher at that time.  Later on, I was offered to be a teacher or environmental health officer.  I chose to be a teacher.  However I did not know that I need to take English test to be offered a permanent post.  So I worked for one year at Admiralty Primary School and I was pregnant later, so quitted the job.   

I stopped teaching after having two children to care for, and I tried to take the English proficiency test.  I never get to pass.  Several years later, I tried again.  This time I failed again.  I tried two times and I failed.  I did not want to try any more and I became a homemaker after that...

Six years ago, I saw an advertisement at Facebook, looking for Childcare teacher, and I went for interview.  I got a job and went training to become a Childcare Teacher.  I worked at the Childcare centre for five years and then I decided to quit.  It was quite okay to 'teach' in the childcare centre.  However it was so different as compared to teaching the primary school students.  The working environment and the people I worked with are so different.  

Everyday, the children called me Teacher, principal and teachers also addressed each other as Teacher.  A few days back, as I was taking orders from the shopping centre, crossing the road, I heard a voice saying, "Hey, your teacher!"  I wanted to turn back to see who it was, but I did not.  I was rushing to go deliver the food.  I supposed it must be one of the children in the childcare centres.  

Then I began to think, do I like people to call me 'teacher'?  Probably not now already.  It takes so much to be a great teacher, someone like Jesus.  Imagine Jesus came and ask me to follow him.  I am a disciple of Jesus.  I am not someone great, a divorcee, and it takes so much to be a role model teacher. 

"Who do you say I am?"  Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."  Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. (Matthew 16:16-17)

My Sacred Heart Jesus which was blessed by Father Vincent Chee 

 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? (Mark 10:17)  

Jesus is my master, my teacher.  Follow Jesus if you want to be saved.  

Precious Time

The clock tower is covered with overgrown plants

Went to Boon Lay Secondary School on 22 August 2008.  This is a gift from the graduating class of 1997.  The clock was stalled and the whole structure covered, cannot be seen.  I had to pushed aside the plants to take the picture and video.  It says 一寸光阴一寸金，寸金难买寸光阴            .

Meaning of the chinese proverb shown on the clock tower

Time is like gold, but no amount of gold can buy time.  An inch of time is an inch of gold, but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.  

Time passed cannot be reversed too.  Time gone cannot be found again.  Dora died about 2 months back.  Father died one year back.  Jesus came 14 years ago.  

Everyday it is a gift to be able to wake up in the morning.  We can get to choose what we want to do for the day.  Thank God every morning for being able to wake up for another day.  Be good and do good to the people around us and our pets.  We do not know when we are not going to see them next.  Life is so unpredictable, like Dora.  

Last sight of Dora at the hospital

Got money also cannot bring back Dora.  Got money cannot buy back the lost time.  During my working days, I spent hours working, came home and need to cook meals or buy food, do the chores of the house and need to prepare for next day's lessons.  Richard spent his time working too.  There was hardly time together.  No quality time together, but it takes two to tango.  We hardly talk to each other.  And then one day he just suddenly told me that he knew of another girl!!!  I was so surprised and sad and angry that such things happened.  I was taken aback by such behaviour and treatment from him.  

We know each other for 32 years!  In the year 2000 we got separated and he left the house for another woman also.  I prayed for family reunion and in the May 2002 he came back.  After he knew that I started work, he stopped driving taxi.  He took over his aunt's shop business with his sister.  That is where everything change...  

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God's Revelation

In His Time

In His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful in His time. Lord, please show me everyday As You’re teaching me Your way, That you do just what You say in Your time. 

In Your time, in Your time, You make all things beautiful in Your time. Lord, my life to You I bring,

May each song I have to sing, be to you a lovely thing in your time

Lord please show me everyday, As you're teaching me your way

That you do just what you say, in your time

In your time, in your time, You make all things beautiful, in your time

Lord my life to you I bring, May each song I have to sing, 

Be to you a lovely thing, in your time

Be to you a lovely thing, in your time

Just like how God had communicated with me through the heart and mind, and through dreams, God will reveal himself to you in your life as well.  He will do it in his time, as long as you sincerely ask him.  "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."  (Matthew 7:7-8)

"God, please show yourself to me."  This was what I asked for when I was young.  But God did not show himself to me then.  Perhaps God wants me to learn and experience life first and finally reveal himself in his time.  Anyway, God showed up, communicated with me and what's next?  

I need God to show me the way.  Richard had left the family and he is now married.  Soon after the paper work is done, he got married!  He wore a cross on his neck.  Is that what a disciple of Jesus should do?  

Yesterday I looked through the old stuff and I found a photograph of my first holy communion.  It says God Lives and God Loves.  Take and eat, This is my body.  Take and drink, This is my blood.  Four decades ago, I was at the church receiving my first holy communion.  What does it mean by God Lives?  I do not even know.  Now God still lives, but why is there a broken marriage now.  We spent so much money on the wedding photographs and it was kept in the cupboard to collect dust.  Then in the end we parted.  He said Isaac is my birthday present, and he left us for another woman...

I need God to show me the way, guide me to my next chapter of life.

    

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